Let’s Talk About- RAW 12.19.2016
Coming off of a lackluster PPV from last night, did RAW do a better job tonight? Well…not really
We open with Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens in the ring. They talk about what happened last night. Chris reveals that he had to keep up the ruse so that he could help his best friend keep the title. We get some back and forth from Kevin and Chris, when Mick Foley comes down to the ring. He informs them that at the ROyal Rumble Kevin will defend his title against Roman Reigns…again…So we are forgetting about Seth Rollins push for the belt and how he needs it to face HHH? Anyways, The stipulation to this match is that Chris will be hung from a shark cage. There just so happens to be a shark cage above the ring. Chris insist that he is arachnophobic, which causes Kevin to tell him that, that is a fear of spiders (Note this happened later on). To which Chris says that he is afraid of those too. Anyways, Chris wants to check the cage out to make sure it was safe. Once inside, Mick locks the cage and then acts like he can’t find the keys. Entertaining, if not corny, and long start to the night.
Match 1: Big Cass vs. Rusev
Recap: Far be it for me to point out a gut…but Cass has a small frame for being a tall man, so his little pooch that he is hiding by pulling up his trunks is pretty noticeable. Anyways, nothing happens. Cass almost immediately gets DQ’d for kicking too much ass and not breaking the 5 count in the corner.
Your Winner: Rusev via DQ
After 20 seconds of “wrestling” we get the second Sasha injury angles done this year. She comes out and says she was injured last night. Nia Jax comes out and cuts a very, very shitty promo. She is not intimidating on the mic, at all. She sounds like she might have spent twenty seconds in the promo room at NXT. Also, she sounds like a high school student. She beats up Sasha. That was it.
Sheamus and Cesaro are given the new RAW tag team titles. Oh, great. 45 minutes into the show and we have had 20 seconds of wrestling. Even greater, legit this time, we see Braun running through people backstage looking for Sami and that he wants him or else. Mick finds him and tells him that Sami isn’t here. Braun says he is going to be or else
Match 2: Noam Dar vs. Cedric Alexander
Recap: Absolutely nothing happens, with a commercial break in between. Ending sees Cedric get his win back. Match was like on screen for about 2 minutes.
Your Winner: Cedric Alexander via Lumbar Check
We get a long, boring, and honestly almost exactly the same as always promo by the New Day. Basically they say that champions come and champions go…I am just done with this gimmick. I want these all doing something else, or with a different edge on them. Made more boring by see Sheamus and Cesaro all of a sudden not getting along. Then the Club…the the Shining Stars, who try to sell timeshares. So this sets up a match…3 minutes of on television wrestling and we are an hour and ten minutes in. Also, this was such filler.
Match 3: The New Day and Sheamus and Cesaro vs. The Club and The Shining Stars
Recap: To continue, this match was also a waste of time. This whole thing was a waste of time. We see basically the same shit we always see in these things. We see a boot of doom on Kofi by the Club. Hot tag to Big E, who hits a trio of belly-to-belly. Sheamus with the blind tag and the match slows back down when it felt like they were heading for a finish, and it just continued to drag. Cesaro gets the big swing into the Sharpshooter making Epico? Tap out.
Your Winners: Cesaro and Sheamus and the New Day via Sharpshooter
Neville comes out and cuts a promo on the crowd. How they stopped cheering him…which causes them to cheer him. They always cheered for him. Anyways, the promo had some passion. He puts 205 on notice. This brings out Rich Swann, who was so mad about what happened last night that he comes out and dances and smiles…Neville takes credit for Rich’s success and demands his respect. Rich reminds him that as long as he holds the belt that he is the best in the division. This brings out Kendrick….oh for fuck sakes we got the same fucking segment we got in the last segment. Anyways Rich and TJ get beat up.
To waste more time, we see Enzo in sensitivity training. I skipped this as I am sort of done with filler
Match 4: Sin Cara vs. Titus O’Neil
Recap; NOOOOPE, it Braunie time. Braun comes down and destroys both of these men. Braun tries to take Sin Cara as a souvenir but is stopped by Mick. He throws Sin Cara into all the gifts at ringside.
Your Winner: No Contest via Braun Strowman
Chris and Kevin are back stage for…filler
We get Charlotte before her match cutting a promo because of…filler.She does cut a good promo though. Anyways this brings down Bayley and well…
Match 5: Bayley vs Charlotte
Recap; A basic match between the two that leads to a backslide by Bailey who picks up the victory. Such a lame way to set up this feud when you already have a story between the two.
Your Winner: It’s Bayley via Backslide
Enzo in sensitivity training…leads to Rusev teaming up with Jinder Mahal…great
It’s time for YOUR MAAAAAIIIIINNNN EVENT
Match 6: Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens
Recap: JESUS…well ok so we get a…gasp… basic, ok match between these four. Ending saw Braun Strowman back out and destroys Seth and Roman. I liked that he came out and took it to both of these top babyfaces. I don’t like a match ending in DQ more than once in a night. Anyways…
Your Winner: I would assume it was Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins via DQ by Braun
Show Overall: I am done with filler, so instead here is a recipe for apple pie filling.
- In a large bowl, toss apples with lemon juice and set aside. Pour water into a Dutch oven over medium heat. …
- Add apples and return to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer until apples are tender, about 6 to 8 minutes. …
- Ladle into 5 freezer containers, leaving 1/2 inch headspace. …
- Seal and freeze.
That is what this show was…filler. If this is what we get from Smackdown you may get one paragraph telling you who won and to skip it. I am not taking my time to watch a show that doesn’t care to try. So…
Until Next Time,
Monty the Yank