Let’s Talk- RAW 02-27-2017
RAW is Build
Another show where we see RAW building up to their Fastlane PPV this Sunday. A lot of things happened but was it all important? Nope, not in the least. We did fill out the card, with the addition of Sami vs. Joe, and a cruiserweight tag match! Did we see ice Cream? Yes we did! Did we get Stephanie working over Mick and making him look like a chump? Why yes we did! Did we get an OK build heading into the PPV? YEah, we did. Matches were a throw away but I can’t say I am not excited for the PPV. I am excited for Goldberg and kevin. I am excited because I want to see where this heads. Goldberg promised a spear, a Jackhammer, and a win. While Kevin promises to not take Goldberg lightly and leave Fastlane as champion. Where will Chris fit into this story and this match? What about Brock? I can’t wait to find out. We have a clearer picture heading into Wrestlemania and we have some hosses at the top! Let’s quickly break down the show.
The show immediately blows their wad and has Goldberg start us off. He runs down Kevin, does the promise that was aforementioned. He says that he is six days out from winning the Universal title. Kevin comes out at talks about how he is in a good mood. He talks about making a promise to grab the company by the throat and make people notice him. He runs down who he beat. Good back and forth and a good build in front of a dead crowd.
We get the New Day promoting their new Ice Cream Bars or pops or something. We have a Oscar spoof with the Shining Stars being told that they are not New Days opponents and that they will be facing Big Show later tonight. Crowd was still pretty dead.
Match 1: The New Day vs. Hard Body Jinder and Handsome Rusev.
Recap: Nothing to say here, besides Big E squished Jinder off the big splash. Rusev is sans mask but is still mighty handsome! Kofi distracts Rusev and Jinder gets hindered by the rollup by Woods. God, I hope Rusev turns on Jinder soon.
Your Winners: The New Day
Enzo won’t stop talking, Cass tells him to take The Club seriously. He reminds Enzo that they have never won a championship…ever. Enzo is becoming a bit annoying, unless they are turning him heel they need to back it up a notch.
Cesaro and Sheamus are talking about getting another shot. Joe comes in and runs down Cesaro telling him he must be mad about still reaching for the brass ring, while Joe came in wearing one. Cesaro tells him that he isn’t wearing anything, AND he is carrying HHH’s jockstrap! Sexy!
Stephanie runs down Mick and tells him he is nothing while after HHH beat him and retired him he has only gotten stronger. Mick’s undershirt was fantastic. Can’t wait to see Mick gets his revenge on Stephanie!!! Muuuuhahahahaha, yeah right, sorry!
Kendrick runs down the lessons he is teaching Tozawa!
Match 2: Akira Tozawa vs. Noam Dar
Recap: A 10 minute setup of the ring for a 3 minute match. Somehow, Tozawa got stuck in the apron… and in the end we see the snap German suplex for the 1…2…3! He is run over afterward by Kendrick and he is told that lesson 3 is to always have eyes in the back of your head, even after a match.
Your Winner: Akira Tozawa
Mick sets up Joe vs. Cesaro. Joe don’t give a shit, you’re allowing him to kick some ass, so why should he care?
Dana Brooke with Charlotte Flair, Jo-Jo’s words not mine, comes down to the ring. Dana didn’t jog tonight, and rightfully so. Charlotte returns to running down Bayley for taking the championship like she did…after last week telling her that she was glad that she isn’t giving it back. Come on man come up with one story and stick with it. Just killed it for me. Bayley comes out and continues to be run down by Charlotte, which brings out Sasha, because why not. Oh, and we have a tag team match, and Dana is still Charlotte protege, you know when it is convenient.
Match 3: Charlotte and Nia Jax vs. Bayley and Sasha Banks
Recap: Leg drop victory by Nia Jax…Yep, we are back to the leg drop being her finish. Oh, and this match had a commercial, I really can’t remember anything else about this match. It wasn’t bad but it was just there and long because why not? Oh, Sasha was slammed onto Bayley and Bayley ate the pin going into the PPV…
Your Winners: Nia Jax and Charlotte
Mick doesn’t have any competition for Braun…Nevermind that shit because Braun doesn’t want competition, he wants a contract for his match at Fastlane. Doesn’t every match require a signature? Or do we just book this shit on a handshake? You know, just like the UFC!
Match 4: Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows
Recap: Cass got a lot of this match. Cass and Gallows put on a really good big man match. Whereas Cass struggle with to work with a diffrent style of worker, he does a hell of a job putting on big man matches. Gallows looked fine but Cass took like 90 percent of this match. He also finished Gallows off with a Big Boot….? Anyways a fine match and at least they didn’t give up a tag match before their tag team title match on Sunday.
Your Winner: Big Cass (No relation to Big E)
Then they fucked themselves. The WWE literally tells people to sign up for a 30 day free trial, but to do so on Thursday and you can get Fastlane and Wrestlemania for free. It is as if WWE doesn’t like money.
Titus got his ass kicked in catering because he wanted to team up with Sheamus because both of them were Irish. Cake on his face and we are supposed to take him seriously, which I don’t.
Match 5: Sheamus vs. Titus
Recap: Might as well have been a squash. Titus looked good to start with a fiery attack on Sheamus, but Sheamus comes back and beats the big man. Brogue Kick and a win.
Your Winner: Sheamus
We get a Seth promo. We get Seth discussing how he may deserve this, that what he did to win the WWE World CHampionship at Wrestlemania was the reason he was punished. He says maybe what he did to get that belt was a sacrifice is what he is paying for now. HHH comes out and he runs Seth down. We are really pumping up the fact that Seth will be out of Wrestlemania, which tells me that they are totally wrestling each other at Wrestlemania!
Match 6: The Big Show vs. The Shining Stars
Recap: Squash, basically! Big Show wins to promote his…well his Fastlane match? His Wrestlemania match? Nope…ummmm…I don’t know Big Show is just back.
Your Winner: The Big Show
Match 7: Tony Neville and Neville Neville vs. TJ Perkins and Jack Gallaher
Recap: Another long break to make sure we set up the ring in purple. Highlight of this whole segment? The Austin Aries promo for his return. Big drop kicks by Gallaher on Nese. headbutt to Neville sends him outside and Nese is hit with the kick by Perkins and a dropkick in the corner by Gallaher. Crowd is totally dead as Nese taps out, I think?
Your Winners: Jack Gallaher and TJ Perkins (who did nothing really)
Beth Phoenix is going to be inducted in the WWE HOF. I like Beth but really, already?
Bayley and Sasha…I don’t care and Stephanie can fucking get the boat!
Match 8: Cesaro vs. Samoa Joe
Recap: Cesaro gets the early advantage using his strength. He slips off the apron and sells his knee. Joe gets the advantage but fear not we need a commercial a a promotion of a show that everyone should be ashamed to watch in Friday Night Tikes. PeeWee football with asshole fathers is the fucking bottom of the barrel as far as “entertainment” goes and the USA Network should be ashamed of promoting and air this shit! Anyways! Ending sees Cesaro trying to take out Joe, but he ends up eating a Uranage and losing the Joe. Joe cuts a great promo after the match. He is run down from behind by Sami and we set up a Sami Zayn vs Samoa Joe match at Fastlane.
Your Winner: Samoa Joe
It’s time for YOUR MAAAAIIIINNN EVENT!
Braun and Roman come out to “sign” the contract for Fastlane. We get shenanigans and chicanery. A brawl leads to Braun being speared through the barricade, which really needs to be re-enforced. Roman goes to sign the contract but Braun comes back in. Roman goes to spear Braun but Braun throws him into the turnbuckle and the turnbuckle comes off. In the end, Roman crawls over and signs the contract as RAW goes off the air.
Until Next Time,
Monty the Yank