Let’s Talk About- 01-23-2017
Hot start…you’ll never guess what happened to begin the show? Come on guess! You give up? OK, I will tell you, Roman Reigns comes down to the ring, he doesn’t get much of a promo out before we see him interrupted by Jericho and Kevin Owens. We get the same start we have basically seen for the past month or two, however, this time we make a match between…GASP…Chris Jericho vs. Roman Reigns!!!!
However, this is completely different from the last time these guys faced off because, you see, it is for the US title. I know what you’re saying, “But, they have had US title match against each other this is lame!” But au contraire, tonight is for Chris Jericho’s United States Title! I am so tired of seeing these men together, way to get me excited for a PPV match RAW! One positive out of all of this is that Roman seems a lot more comfortable than he has been in a while on the mic, and comfortable Roman is best Roman!
Match 1: Cesaro vs. Luke Gallows
Recap: A little back and forth to get us started. We see Gallows get put over as a big man, and is almost immediately deadlift slammed by Cesaro.
Cesaro makes his European uppercut comeback in the corner. An awkward looking Tornado DDT by Cesaro. Gallows is outside and Sheamus goes to take out Gallows but Cesaro stops him. Then Cesaro gets the ref’s attention so Sheamus could clothesline Gallows on the outside. Back in the ring Cesaro gets the Sharpshooter on Gallows but is distracted by Anderson kicking Sheamus into the side of the ring and then trying to get into the ring. Gallows hits a flapjack for the 1…2…3! Very,very basic match, however the crowd seemed to like it.
Your Winner: Luke Gallows
Sami interrupts Stephanie, on the phone, and Mick Foley, in person. Sami asks Mick how he gets into the Royal Rumble, as if he wasn’t in it last year, but Mick is cut off by Stephanie before Mick could tell him that he was in the match. Stephanie told Sami that he could be in the match if he can beat Seth Rollins tonight.
We get a sit down interview with Bayley. It was fine, but didn’t really move the meter for me. One thing though…They placed Corey and Bayley waaaay too close to one another for this little sit down. Maybe, next to each other in a couple of comfy arm chairs would have been better.
Mick finds Seth backstage and lets him know that he will be facing off against Sami Zayn and only the winner will be able to be in the Royal Rumble.
Match 2 Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn for a spot in the Royal Rumble match
Recap: I loved the start to this match. We get a slow, wrestling start between these two. As the pressure of the match starts to build up, due to the stipulation, we see them roll around and end up seeing Rollins start a ground and pound on Sami. We then see Sami hit a big clothesline on Seth and goes to dive out onto him, but Seth counters and hits a suicide dive of his own. Seth goes for the springboard knee but Sami counters it and hit the Blue Thunder Bomb for a long 2 count that got the crowd counting along. Sami does a crossbody jumping from a sitting position on the rope to standing on the top. He then hits a Michinoku Driver for another long 2 count. Sami kept all of his covers tight and made them seem like he was going to win. Blockbuster by Rollins but can’t secure the 3. Sami rolls up Seth but Seth hits the sidekick to a knelt Sami and Sami barely kicks out. Falcon Arrow on Sami but again Sami gets the shoulder up at 2. Yah-Boo punch spot into a knee by Rollins. Rollins hits the Rainmaker set up into the Slingblade and sets up for the Pedigree. Pedigree is blocked and Sami goes for the Helluva kick but Seth moves. Pedigree attempt by Seth but Sami sends him outside. Sami and Seth fight to the top and Seth goes for the top rope Pedigree.
Sami fights him off and hits the Sunset Flip powerbomb but can’t put Seth away. Sami with the exploder suplex into the corner, but he can’t hit the Helluva kick because Seth goes to the apron. Sami decided to do the Helluva kick on the apron. He runs right into a kick and Seth hits the Pedigree on the apron. He rolls him back in and HHH’s music hits. Seth throws a fit but once he realized that HHH wasn’t coming out he turns back to Sami. Sami hits the SMALL PACKAGE and gets the 1…2…3! Hell of a match and this is how a distraction finish needs to happen. Seth has been looking for HHH. HHH hasn’t been on the show, so when his music hit, Seth took notice, and rightfully so. Well done, and good on both of these guys for putting on a match that didn’t see them keep kicking out of finishers but rather saw them go for other high impact moves.
Your Winner: Sami Zayn
Seth is backstage and runs into Mick. Seth is pissed and he starts yelling at Mick. Mick swears it was Stephanie, I personally think it will end up being Mick who is trying to help Sami. Seth says it is a C-o-n…Spiracy
Match 3: Ariya Daivari, Drew Gulak, and Tony Nese vs. Mustafa Ali, TJ Perkins, and Jack Gallaher
Recap: Question? Why put this match out there immediately after such an amazing, long match? Anyways, Gallaher gets his shit in with the headstand in the corner. Nese looks strong by putting a pounding on TJ. I lost myself in something and got to see Ali hit the reverse 450 for the 1…2…3! Oh, I guess I missed a headbutt by Gallaher and a Superkick by TJ. Match was nothing much but it was exciting.
Your Winners: Mustafa Ali, TJ Perkins, and Jack Gallaher
…New Day came out…they have Enzo and Cass with them…Rusev comes out with Jinder…he was the only one that I found funny…Titus comes out…He has Braun in tow…Wait, WHAT? How in the hell did he get Braun? First why the hell? What the hell? How the hell? Anyways before that I did like how Titus says something and for a split moment or two Xavier gets hard, not in that way you guys, and asks him to step out. Then when Titus announces that there is going to be a 8 man match, Xavier points out A. There is 5 on their side, and there was only four of them, granted that one of them was Lana. Anyways, when Braun’s music hit the New Day don’t look stared they just looked like someone that knows they are dead.
Match 4: Titus, Jinder Mahal, Rusev, and BRAAAAUUUUNNNN Strowman vs. The New Day, and Enzo and Cass
Recap: By the way the fucking match started during the commercial. Apparently, I am supposed to welcome my new multimedia overlord, Spectrum. I refuse to acknowledge this match until someone tags in Braun! Damnit Titus, you made me notice! Titus hit a beautiful Dominator style slam on Kofi. We get a parade of moves into the Kofi reverse dive out on the crowd. Braun FINALLY tags in. Braun with a huge shoulder tackle, gingerly picks up Enzo but Enzo fights out and tries for a DDT. Braun blocks the DDT and finally finishes off Enzo with the Powerslam, that really needs a name.
I am sorry but I am starting to mark out for Braun! So what we get is Braun standing tall in the ring and Big Show’s music hits. Big Show, who has shown he has abs, is still wearing a singlet, which isn’t very flattering. His chest is still fucking huge! Braun checks him out like he might offer up a nice steak dinner at the Ponderosa, but ultimately backs down as we will have to wait for the Rumble. See guys, WWE can wait to pay things off. (I would like to note that my computer insists that I change Can to Can’t).
Your Winner: Titus, Jinder Mahal, Rusev, and BRAAAAAUUUUNNNN Strowman
Match 5: Chris Jericho (C) vs. Roman Reigns © *of my heart* for the WWE United States Championship
Recap: Brawl immediately to the outside, which means nothing because as the count was going up we go to commercial. You know, why not? Highlight of the middle? Air high five between Kevin and Jericho. Roman hulks up, as Jericho slaps him. Punches is what Roman comes back with. We do get a few clotheslines before Chris and Roman screwed up a spot and tried to save it. We go back to the spot, which was a Samoan drop. Roman pulls the foreskin back from his arm and goes for the Superman punch but Chris hits a dropkick to block the move. Reigns finally caught Jericho and hit a sitout powerbomb for a 2. Kevin can’t take staying up at the announce table and runs out to the ring. Superman punch by Reigns but Kevin gets to Roman before he can cover Chris. Kevin calls for the shark cage to be lowered but he ends up in the cage allowing Roman to get Jericho alone. Jericho tries to ride up with the cage but he is exposed and Roman hits the Superman punch on a hanging Jericho. He sets up and hits the spear to put an exclamation point on this feud. While I hated seeing the same guys in the ring together for the hundredth time, I enjoy that the ending saw a unique way to get us excited for the Rumble match. I mean they could have had a Roman vs. Owens main event that went 20 minutes. Good segment at the end off an OK match.
Your Winner but NOT the NEW United States Champion: Roman Reigns
We comes back from commercial to see, I think Charly, telling Kevin that the Universal Championship match at the Rumble will not only see Jericho in the cage, but it will also be a No DQ match. Kevin loses his shit and cuts one of the better promos I have heard from him in some time.
Graves sits down with Charlotte…and it still isn’t moving the meter for me. Charlotte is a good promo, I just, well I have already seen this a few month ago building up to Sasha vs. Charlotte.
Match 6: Nia Jax vs. A Jobber
Recap: Squash. I thought we had moved on from this WWE? I want enhancement matches but I don’t want Nia in them, and this isn’t an enhancement match it is a SQUASH. This doesn’t allow Nia to get better. Also, stop giving her a mic. The amazing promo brought out Sasha. I am convinced that Sasha has been in an injury angle longer than she has been “healthy” on the main roster. Like, I honestly want to see a crutch entrance for Sasha in WWE 2K18. Sasha was faking it and takes out Nia with the crutch and hits the double knees on the floor…which I suggest she takes out of her repertoire like tonight and forever. So, are we going to see Sasha vs. Nia at the Rumble and Charlotte vs. Bayley but not end up seeing Becky vs. Alexa? Time will tell.
Your Winner: Nia Jax
Match 7: Rich Swann vs. Noam Dar
Recap: How the fuck is Swann getting a jobber entrance? So we can see Noam with Alicia? We can’t have an entrance but we can see a far too long recap of what happened on 205 live? Swann with his flip through dropkick onto Dar sends him packing. Swann dodges a leg sweep and hits the kick to the face onto Dar. Swann is distracted, for no reason in particular, while Alicia tells no one in particular to “GEat Hieam” which allows Dar to dropkick a re-entering Swann for a odd 2 count, considering that was the first move Dar had done. We go to commercial so that we can just come back and see Swann win, with a kick to the head, that still has no name…He cut a promo on Neville, which I would say should have been the only thing that happened. He called Neville a Jester, nice one Swann! Neville’s music hits and he acts like he is going to enter the ring but bails. Swann dives out onto Neville and throws him back into the ring…for no reason…allowing Neville to bail once more.
Your Winner; Rich Swann
It’s time for YOUR MAAAAIIIINNNN EVENT!
Rumble hype! Goldberg comes out…NOPE! We get a Cedric Alexander promo about his match against Neville on 205 live. Alicia Fox is fucking impossible to take seriously. There is absolutely no reason this happened this late on this show. Also, the Alicia Fox thing is just too fucking much. The voice is annoying…like I almost stopped watching the show and just make up the ending.
OK, NOW we have Goldberg come out. Goldberg isn’t sure how to drink water has it has it all over the fucking place. Goldberg loses his place, due to headbutting the door perhaps? He cuts a wrestling promo all wrestlers cut before the Royal Rumble. #) this 30 that, 29 other this, 29 other that until he is interrupted by Paul Heyman. Brock is here and comes out. Undertaker is here and comes out. We get a stare down…woohoo a stare down by three part-timers. No Royal Rumble tease with a bunch of men coming out and gets fucked over the top, nothing just staring. Way to take us off the air…with…staring…
Show Overall: Not too bad of a night, however, the final hour just drug because they didn’t have enough stuff to do. They threw out a Swann match for no reason so they could get to the point with the promo and the calling out of Neville. We get Cedric Alexander promo immediately before we get Goldberg. Goldberg does nothing and had to restart his promo three times because he fucking forgot what he was going to say. Brock did nothing and instead of wanting to beat Goldberg’s ass, like he should, he just wanted to get next to him, and for no reason what so ever, besides just promoting that these guys are in the match, we have the Undertaker come out, who said months ago that he was a Smackdown guy, and has now shown up to RAW more times than he has been on Smackdown since saying that. Imagine if the show just went off the air after the Chris Jericho and Roman Reigns match? This show would have ended up being a nice tidy two hour show packed with action and story, but what I am left with is staring and boring, meaningless matches in the 3rd hour. Also, I know part-timers bring in the casual fan but can we acknowledge that there is other people in the 30 man Royal Rumble. Hell you can tell by the picture for the match that no one on Smackdown has a chance of winning. Overall this was a missable show if it wasn’t for the Seth/Zayn match, which was something special for a non-hyped, middle of the first hour match. Let’s see where Smackdown takes us as we head into Elimination Chamber for that show apparently. So…
Until Next Time,
Monty the Yank
*Pictures courtesy of WWE.com