Let’s Talk About- iMPACT 12/08/2016
Moose, Moose, Moose, Moose, Moose, Moose, is the Grand Champion! He is also in the ring. Crowd start with a, “You Deserve it!” chant. I really hate that chant. Moose talks about always playing sports to win championships. He gives credit to the fans for helping him win the Grand Championship with their chants. He tells them that he will be a fighting champion, and immediately, we get Drew Galloway’s music. Can’t lie, I am excited to see Drew back. Drew “introduces” himself, and asks for Moose to say his name. He then tells a story, that they made the Grand Championship for Drew Galloway. However, because of his injury, he didn’t get a chance to win it. We end up with Drew challenging Moose, and asking if they should, “burn this bitch to the ground.” Moose tries to answer, however, he is cut off by Aron Rex. Aron says that he would come down and shake Drew’s hand, but he didn’t want to see Galloway get hurt again. He threated to sue the crowd for Rexual herrassment. Aron ends up invoking his rematch clause against Moose, right now!…After the break!
Match 1: Aron Rex vs. Moose (C) for the iMPACT Grand Championship:
Recap: First round sees Aron grid this 9 minute match to a halt. We go outside because why not? Immediately back into the ring, and we start of slow and brings it down! Aron wins round 1. Moose ducks the loaded hand of Aron. However, when Aron begs off, Aron gets a hand up in the face of Moose and blinds him. Another boring round. Round 2 goes to Moose. Round 3 sees Moose hit the dropkick onto Aron, who was on the top rope. He then hits the Discus Clothesline for the 1…2…3! Match was not very good, not very good at all. I am really sort of done with the round system.
Your Winner and STILL iMPACT Grand Champion: Moose Via Discus Clothesline
Eddie Edwards is in the back cutting a babyface promo. I just noticed the thing that bothers me about Eddie, when he is cutting a promo, and that is that I can not see his upper teeth, but can see all of his bottom teeth. Anyways, he will win tonight is what we learned from this promo.
Drew Galloway cuts a promo backstage about the Grand Championship.
Match 2: Mandrews vs. Aiden O’Shea
Recap: Mandrews looks like a bummed out pre-teen. O’Shea looks like, well like, well, a brawler from 1950’s Chicago. O’Shea no-sells the kicks and hits the powerslam. O’Shea brings back the palm thrust. Mandrews rakes the eyes, you filthy heel, you! O’Shea no-sells Mandrews offense, again, and headbutts Mandrews, and throws him across the ring. Clubs to the back of Mandrews, but O’Shea misses and hits his hand against the ring apron. O”Shea shit talks Mandrews, and the match gets slower…However, I can’t say I didn’t love O’Shea’s casual chats with the ref. Big Slam by O’Shea. Mandrews finally gets some space and hits the suicide dive, and then gets O’Shea back into the ring and hits the Shooting Star Press for the 1…2…3! Match was too slow, and too long for what i was looking to get out of it.
Your Winner: Mandrews via Shooting Star Press
Match 3: Al Snow and Shera vs. The Tribunal
Recap: Well, let’s see how this goes…Well to start, the ref stopped the strapping of the Tribunal because their hands were not on the strap yet…OK? We get a lot of walk and brawl, as well as, a lot of strapping back and forth. Then we get to the boring part of this stip. The guys have to touch all six corners. We see more strappings and screaming as the faces get their time. And, it’s over…wow, that wasn’t a very good match either.
Your Winners: Al Snow and Shera via 12 total corner touches.
EC3 is backstage, booooooring me. Fate brought us here, fate guys, fate. Did I say fate? Anyways, EC3 is cut off by Eli Drake. So, Eli isn’t allowed to talk until EC3 says his name 3 times…I think. EC3 says he won’t choke tonight.
Matt Hardy comes down to the ring with the rest of the Broken Ones. King Maxual is wearing a miniature version of Matt’s attire. This promo was to promote next week’s Total Non-Stop Deletion. What is awesome about this? Well, two big things. First, Maxual will have a match! Secondly, we will see a tag team deletion match. This brings out Shane Helms for some reason. Shane says he will be involved in the tag team deletion. Matt tells him that he looks forward to facing the obsolete Three-Count, which I laughed at. He then asked if Shane is going to bring out his robust superheroes? Shane says he will bring Everett and Lee with him. We get Decay…Decay…DECAY! We gets a little bit of time for Rosemary to gloat about her win last week. Abyss tells them that they shouldn’t want them to come back to Beautiful Cameron to take what was theirs. Steve says the same thing, but it was awesome. Good segment. I am excited to see this match. Matt tells them that they didn’t have to make it so dramatic, that they could have just accepted. Also, we see Shane take a Twist-of-Fate.
Match 4: Laurell Van Ness vs. Allie
Recap: I skipped this, I am done with this…Well, ok…Allie brings out Braxton Sutter. She learned to work and beats up on Van Ness. We get a little back and forth. The Miracle comes out and attacks Braxton. Van Ness goes for the Curb Stomp. Allie ducks and hits the Scorpion Death Drop for the 1…2…3! She runs off Maria at the end. Match still wasn’t very good.
Your Winner: Allie via Scorpion Death Drop
It’s time for YOUR MAAAAIIIINNNN EVENT
Match 5: EC3 vs. Eddie Edwards (C) for the TNA World Championship
Recap: We see about a 3 minute feeling out period between the two. We get EC3 showing us that he was the big guy in the match. They we get to see that Eddie is the more technical. EC3 hit a backwards looking cutter that has Eddie bailing out of the ring to catch a breather. Big suplex back into the ring by EC3. TKO attempt from the top, but Eddie reversed it into the Dragon-rana. Ending sees a TKO on the floor by EC3. He works Eddie back into the ring, but Eddie rolls him through and locks in the Single Leg Crab. EC3, fights, and screams, and reaches out to get the bottom rope for the break. Eddie hits the backpack stunner. EC3 locks in the rear-naked choke. Eddie “taps” as EC3’s shoulders we “on” the mat…So what do we do? We call this match as a No Contest…yep! Crowd went wild folks for this No Contest…They chanted “bullshit” as we get a shitty finish to a shitty night of wrestling!
Your Winner: Not the Fans Via No Contest
Show Overall: Well, if you couldn’t tell, I hated tonight. I was just not feeling any of the matches, and the main event was bullshit. It wasn’t a Dusty finish, it was just shitty. Give us a winner, that has been your bread and butter. You can have a screwy finish, but that ending was shitty. First, EC3 doesn’t use the rear-naked choke. Second, he was “pinned” before the “tap”. Also the “pin” didn’t even happen because Eddie rolled too soon. The show was a mess and I just found myself bored and angry. So…
Until Next Time,
Monty the Yank