Fresh off of reviewing RAW sick, and Podcasting RAW and Backlash Sick, I am here to review Smackdown Sick and a little tipsy. We open with a recap of Sunday. Was a good package showing all the important things coming out of Sunday’s PPV.

We open with your NEW WWE World Champion AJ Styles! Some say that they don’t want none, but I may want some! Also, I may need to speak with my wife. I love this man! Marking out done I swear. He tells the crowd that the champ is here. He said he told you so, while the crowd cheers along and agrees with him. He told them that if he tells them something, it is gospel according to AJ. He is no longer the face that runs this place, but rather, he is now the champ that runs the camp. Sooooooo, who does this bring out? John Cena! While I am happy he is back. This does not need to be AJ’s first feud. Good news is that John was coming straight out to get to business. John insinuates that AJ Styles has something that belongs to him…seriously?

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AJ gives him back him armband. John says again, that AJ still has something that belong to him. He says if he wins that belt again he is in the conversation with WOOOOO the man. John says he has one more goal, which is winning that belt for a 16th time. This brings out Dean, who ignores John and goes right for AJ. He tells AJ that he made a huge mistake and then says the famous bullshit line “Titles come and go.” what the hell?

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Anyways, John cuts him off and tells him he shouldn’t be mad when he left a guy hanging on the ropes by his balls. He says Stone Cold was right and that Dean hasn’t stepped up. He also called him ballless. Dean says he must have been mistaken for a guy that cares about Cena. He calls Cena a lazy part-timer. He continues on John and says he looks good on TV and cereal boxes, but we all know he can’t compete in the ring any more.

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AJ just sits in the corner and allows this to continue. Out comes Shane. Shane, being the voice of reason, speaks about all of them being worthy and sets up a triple threat match. Have I mentioned that I hate multi-person matches. Tonight we get a much better idea and we set up a tag-team match for tonight, which isn’t a multi-man match under my criteria of hating something.

Speaking of Multi-person matches…a 5-way for the number one contendership for the Smackdown Women’s Championship. Whoopy! It’s as if Smackdown knows I hate this shit and is just throwing it at me as fast as they can.

Match 1: The Usos vs. The Hype Bros

Highlights: I hate the red and white look on the Usos. Usos with the early advantage. Jey works over Zack’s leg. Zack gets the hot tag and Mojo does the only moves he knows how to do. Superkick by Jimmy and Jey hits the splash for the 1…2…3!

Your Winners: The Usos

Overall: What the fuck was this? So the Usos come out of Backlash with a cool looking motif, and  a sweet new finisher, and we took both of those away?  Hey WWE a superkick into a splash isn’t a heel finish…you know what is? The Tequila Sunrise off of a chop block. Also, why the hell did we get this match again? God, this wasn’t a good start tonight. Any positives? Well yeah, the Usos won clean and powerfully, and the match didn’t suck. Besides that I just hated this due to the things mentioned earlier in the overall.

Miz comes down and talks shit and talks about how he is a main eventer. This immediately brings out Ziggler. He talks about how he was screwed over and that Miz didn’t really win last night. Miz says he is the main event, and they makes fun of Dolph’s career. Dolph asks the Miz to go at it one more time without the valets, without the girlfriends, or the wives.No stunt doubles (Very nice), just them one on one without excuses. Maryse interrupts, but can’t get a lot of words out before Daniel Bryan comes out and says Ziggler will get him rematch. Miz refuses and says until he gets his contract renegotiated he isn’t giving Bryan anything. While I enjoyed this, the fact that Bryan could just strip Miz of the belt for insubordination or for refusing to defend it doesn’t make me “buy in” to this demand or storyline. Daniel standing in the ring looking lost and not knowing what to do is so stupid when he had a mic in his hand and he has already told Miz that he can just hand him the belt if he doesn’t want to defend the title like a week ago. Stop it WWE, I want to like you but then you pull stupid shit like this.

Match 2: Baron Corbin vs. Apollo Crews

Highlights: So another rematch…Baron immediately attacks Crews before the bell can be rung. He sends Crews outside and hits the End of Days on the floor. This brings out Jack Swagger, who remind you, lost to Jinder Mahal just a night ago. Jack Swagger tells the crowd that they don’t know jack about Jack Swagger. Jack, apparently, is going to be a big problem. He did get the crowd to chant, We The People.

Your Winner: No Contest

Overall: No match, but the introduction of Jack Swagger to Smackdown was stupid only due to just seeing him lose the Jinder Mahal last night. He lost to the enhancement talent on RAW and now he is going to be a big deal on Smackdown? How the fuck does that make sense? Stupid, stupid stupid…Also, we are almost an hour in and we have gotten a 5 minutes match. Guess what is up next? A Becky Lynch promo. So the first our had 5 minutes of wrestling.

Becky Lynch gets interviewed in the ring. She cuts another babyface promo and panders to the crowd calling herself Becky Balboa, again, in Philadelphia. Nothing to say, it was good, and she is good, but I am just being pissy due to how Smackdown is going tonight.

Match 3: Five-person match for the Number One Contendership to the Smackdown Women’s Championship: Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Carmella vs. Nikki Bella

Highlights: Another FUCKING rematch! Well, I guess Becky being removed IS different but you get the drift. Well OK it is a sudden death instead of elimination. You know what? Just let me have this. Fast start, with Natalya almost getting the win. Carmella and Nikki have a stare down leading to Carmella bailing. She cheers at the crowd and turns around to a flying Nikki Bella and her clothesline. Nikki electric chair drops Naomi. Apparently this takes Nikki out as well. Alexa tries to steal the victory but is cut off, ultimately, by Nattie. Alexa goes for the Code Red but is enziguri’d by Naomi. Bella Buster by Nikki but she feeds right into the Rear View by Naomi for a long 2. Natalya runs Naomi’s face into the apron/steps. Nikki takes Bliss to the top but Bliss fights her off. She tries to come off the top but is kicked. TKO attempt by Nikki, but Carmella Superkicks Nikki. Alexa pulls Carmella off of Nikki, sends her outside, and steals the 1…2…3!

Your Winner and Number One Contender to the Smackdown Women’s Championship: Alexa Bliss

Overall: Good match for these five. Bliss being the first to face Becky is a good choice. Nikki and Carmella have a story they need to go tell. Natalya and Naomi don’t need to be near the belt right now. You have a natural split of the women right now, tell some stories outside of the title being on the line. Do…Something…Different!

Heath contract signing: God bless Heath, but this could have been so much faster and in a better spot. Heath is awesome, Rhyno is awesome, and I love that they look like they are having a lot of fun. Quickly, Shane congratulates Heath and asks him to sign.

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Heath signs the contract and thanks the world. Heath tells the world that as Smackdown tag-champs that they will take on all comers. He starts to thank all of his kids, but is cut off by the Ascension. They take Heath up on his offer. Shane, turning heel, makes this an official match.

Match 4: Heath Slater and Rhyno vs. the Ascension for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship

Highlights: We come back from break and the Ascension is taking it to Heath. Ascension screw up a tag team move, and the crowd goes mild. Rhyno takes out…Connor? Rhyno with the hot tag and takes it to Victor. Spinebuster by Rhyno. Heath gets the sleeper on Connor but is tossed out. Rhyno dumps out Connor and hits the GORE, GORE, GORE on Victor for the 1…2…3!

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Your Winner and STILL Tag Team Champions: Heath Slater and Rhyno

Overall: Match was fine but how in the world is the Ascension not getting better? Have they not worked in a while? That tag team move they botched was pretty bad. It wasn’t just a mess up, it was them being completely out of sync. That is how they looked for the whole match, like they haven’t been a tag team for 3 plus years. Anyways, match was basic and forgettable. In the end, the crowd went home happy with the big Gore and the ECW alum getting the 1,2,3.

Randy Orton cuts a promo on Bray…bored. No bad just boring. Randy says Bray is fearful of him. Bray say no, no,no Randy is afraid of him. Bray may have become Freddy Kruger. Also, Bray is teleporting around, and Erik is back in the picture. He takes out Randy but in the end Randy stands tall and hits the RKO…

Match 5: AJ Styles and The Miz vs. John Cena and Dean Ambrose

Highlights: So, that jobber everyone likes was going to be in the main event with AJ Styles but he is beaten up by Miz, beautifully and brutally I might add. We come back from break with Miz taking the piss out of Cena.

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Miz distracts the ref as AJ, nonchalantly, kicks John Cena with the enziguri. Dean, moving at the speed of Ziggler, hits a bunch of clotheslines and a swinging backbreaker on AJ. He quickly comes off the top with his elbow and gets a 2 count. Dean is distracted by beating the shit out of Miz and eats a Pele kick by AJ. Dean ignores the tag request by Cena and tries to Dirty Deed Miz off the top. Miz blocks it and hits the double axe handle on Dean. Dean with the chop onto AJ.

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Styles goes for the flurry of punches, and kicks but Dean blocks the final punch and hits the swinging neckbreaker. Hot tag to Cena who shoulder blocks the shit out of Miz and gets the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Dean dives onto AJ to the outside and John Cena hits the AA on Miz for the pinfall victory. After the match Dean hits the Dirty Deeds on Cena.

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Your Winners; John Cena and Dean Ambrose

Overall: Match was pretty good. However, just when you think we have brought in the new era of Smackdown, we get a clean as a sheet pinfall victory by John Cena. I know, I know it doesn’t matter it was just a thought that went through my head as this match ended. Miz, who earlier was saying how he was the main event and ran away from Bryan refusing to defend his title until he got a new contract, came back to work and tried to prove he was a main event player. How’s that work out? Well he ate an AA and he was pinned in the middle.So we didn’t need Ziggler coming down and taking out Miz, or at least distracting him to cause this finish? I know it is about Cena and the main event but it is also about Miz and the feud is is going to end up in. Match was good and the aftermath with Dean hitting the Dirty Deeds on Cena, while not shocking, was a nice way to send us off the air.

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Show Overall: Overall? This wasn’t a very good show. Too many rematches. Too much wasted time. However, the main event took a lot of sting away from this show. I am not wanting to see John Cena in the main event, especially not right now. I do want to see John Cena win the belt for a 16th time and have one last run. However, why don’t you save this for Wrestlemania. Keep AJ heel, keep Cena away from the belt and have him get his chance on the biggest stage of them all. AJ as a heel would be primed and ready to lose that belt on that stage and the crowd would, probably, eat it up. I don’t think he is going to win at No Mercy but I fear they’ll take all the good will they may have built for him and blow it with this match, instead of letting him simmer and bringing him back when the time was right. Right now isn’t the right time, especially when the champ is tied up in an already built storyline. The other stories I just don’t want to talk about anymore as I grew very tired and very irritated to how we got to those matches. So…

Until Next Time,

Monty The Yank

www.twitter.com/montytheyank