Lets try something different. Let’s split up the storylines and the matches Let’s get crazy!
The Storylines of Tonight:
Men’s Survivor Series Match: Build up to the Survivor Series men’s singles match is really shaping up…In that I mean we are looking at a bunch of guys that don’t like each other. We have Braun Strowman that is out for himself. We have former Shield members in Seth and Roman, and at the end of the night, we saw Kevin pin Jericho, placing turmoil between these two. This would all be fine, if this is the story line for all of these matches. There isn’t one Survivor Series match that doesn’t have the teams not getting along. All in all, we saw a match at the end of the night that led to more turmoil. Yippy.
Women’s Survivor Series Match: Oh, look a bunch of women that aren’t getting along. We have the heel trying to keep the best women off her team, because reasons. Not much to talk about here. Crowd LOVED Bailey. Turmoil amongst the team. Also, Alicia Fox is in this match! They teased Dana being in the match, but, siked your mind, it was Sasha. I would like to point out that the WWE and Stephanie believed that Alicia Fox was better than Dana Brook? You know Dana, the one on TV every week? Yeah, worse than Alicia Fox, who has been on TV twice. Once to break character and see if Nia Jax was ok after flipping out on her. Second time was her to get killed by Nia Jax. Wonderful!
Tag Team Survivor Series Match: So, the only smart one in all of this is Sheamus, as he didn’t want to be apart of this. Also, the teams aren’t going to get along. Sheamus tried to make himself captain of team RAW. But they had to cut promos on one another, leading to him wanting to leave. Now, I must say, while old and tiresome, I did like seeing New Day dressed up like the Highlanders. Also, Golden Truth is out of the Survivor Series match to go to Puerto Rico. So, to top all of this off…The Shining Stars are in this match. Oh My God! This is stupid. Like I want to stop watching wrestling stupid. These people aren’t real people, they are all children. I can’t take anyone seriously on this show, because they act like 5 year olds. Also, to top this off…Goldust is trying to get them back in the match, why try, take the vacation!
Goldberg/Lesnar: We get some promo packages with both doing interview segments during it. Goldberg cut a good, fiery, babyface promo. He promised to kick Brock’s ass. Brock, being amazing, basically told Goldberg that he was a dead man. He tells him not to bring his wife of kid because he will massacre Goldberg. He says his loss to Goldberg didn’t matter considering he didn’t even care about wrestling at that time. This was the best story of the night, as they use a less is more mentality of things. They aren’t on the show every week. We can hide them in promo packages. They don’t go out and have 20 minutes match every Monday and saturate their airtime. I liked this.
Match 1: Sin Cara and Rich Swann vs. Noam Dar and The Brian Kendrick
Match was nothing to write home about. You know why? Because it is just a match. The debut Dar in his hometown to have him lose the match. Now, in fairness, it was the fucking Cruiserweight Champion being pinned, but still, it made no sense.
Also, this match was only 7 minutes long, so to get these guys over we have a very basic, very safe, sort of boring match? Also, I believe this was the only match in the first hour, thanks for that! Furthermore, this was only there for Noam, who mind you just debuted and isn’t really a heel, to turn face in his hometown.
Your Winners: Sin Cara and Rich Swann via Rich Swann’s rollup on Kendrick
Match 2: The New Day vs. Gallows and Anderson
Yeah, seriously. We had, ANOTHER, New Day vs. Gallows and Anderson. Why? Why? Why? Why? There is absolutely nothing to say here. This was the same damned match they have every week they face each other. Crowd died during this match, and we see Gallows and Anderson win, but not win the belts.
Your Winners: Gallows and Anderson via the Magic Killer on Kofi
Match 3: Golden Truth vs. The Shining Stars
So, the story of this match? Look up top and see. Golden Truth wanted to get their spot back, that Truth traded.
Crowd…did…not…care. I could hear individual banter in the crowd. Also, they started singing Glorious. To boot no NXT for you all, because, fuck you, that’s why! Chinlock was done at the most appropriate time, you know, to allow the crowd to breathe. This was really bad, and boring. Also, another rollup for the win. The crowd goes *wet fart noise*.
Your Winners: The Shining Stars via rollup on Goldust
Match 4: Nia Jax, Charlotte, and Dana Brooke vs. Bayley, Sasha Banks, and Alicia Fox
My God, can we get a singles match? Bunch of spots. Bunch of tag team spots we have seen from these women every week. Bailey beats Charlotte, because reasons. Match, wasn’t bad, just basic, and boring. Story of the show folks. Also, we made sure to show Nia beating up Alicia for most of the replay and having like 2 seconds of Bayley winning. Good God.
Your Winners: Bayley, Sasha Banks, and Alicia Fox via the Belly-to-Bayley on Charlotte
Match 5: Sami Zayn vs. Rusev
Thank you, we got a singles match! Rusev took most of this match. Through the first half of the match, Rusev kept the advantage. Rusev got outsmarted and sent out and got dove on top of.
Rusev couldn’t put Zayn away, and went to the top. Zayn then hit the Helluva Kick onto Rusev, who was on the top rope, and got the win. Congrats to the commentary team for not catching this and not making it sound important. Go find this and tell me how lame this call was.
They actually showed the replay, again, so that Cole could point out that he hit his finisher, and Cole still just glossed over it. Match was fine, just too basic.
Your Winner: Sami Zayn via Helluva Kick
It’s Time for YOUR MAAAIIIINNN EVENT
Match 6: Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho, vs. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman
Match was just a in and out clusterfuck of moves. I mean in fairness I enjoyed it, but I just don’t like multi-person matches. I hate them because they hold to such a formula, in an already formulaic company. I did like how the four of them got together to take out Strowman. Also, the teased Shield powerbomb on the table was a nice touch. Too much walk and brawl during this match. We did get a powerbomb through the table onto Strowman. I will have to give them credit I did like how they kept finding ways to keep Strowman out of the match.
Ending saw Kevin pin Jericho off of the Pedigree by Seth onto Jericho, while Kevin was Superman punched on top of him. Kevin did a good job of celebrating and then coming back to check on Jericho.
Show Overall: Wow, did I hate this show! This was an over-bloated, underwhelming, shit show of a program. Wrestling shows are not hard. Make it believable, and make the matches matter. Tonight we got a bunch of children in the ring. Hell, we got the same story three times in the night because the Survivor Series matches are all the same storyline. All of them came out in the ring, they wasted time, and acted like children, and then we saw them wrestle. Show was so skippable that I almost turned it off. I just hated, almost, everything they presented tonight, and feel that those poor saps in Scotland got screwed out of anything enjoyable. I really hope Smackdown is better, for their sake, and mine. So…
Until next Time,
Monty the Yank