Let’s begin. Last week I did not like RAW as much as I would have thought…also, I didn’t get to see all off it in its entirety. Tonight? Three straight hours of either joyful bliss…OOOORRRRR Hell, pure Hell! I can’t wait to find out!
We get a recap of last week. Nicely done and got over the important story-lines heading into Summerslam. Once the promo package is over we get Rollins outside of the arena from earlier tonight. Seth talks about how in 6 days he will become the first Universal Champion. He says that tonight he is calling out the Demon King. He says he is going to call him out right there. He waits for him to appear and then cackles saying he is going to go find the Demon King. I liked this opening…however, stop shoving Demon King down our throats.
We cut into the arena and Lana and Rusev are out to bitch about last week. Lana tells the people that they are going to listen to what they have to say. Rusev tells the crowd because they did not get to finish their wedding ceremony, there was not going to be a RAW tonight! So…
Until Next Time,
Monty…well shit I guess we still have 2:45 minutes left.
Mick Foley comes out instead of Roman Reigns…Why? I mean I know why, I just don’t get Roman not coming out, is he not there? Is he a coward? Did he want the night off and a cancelled RAW sounded awesome, so screw it? Rusev cuts a promo on Mick Foley… I think they are stalling for something. Foley comes to the ring, almost and Rusev continues to cut a promo. This brings out Stephanie, because you know, she hasn’t put a male on the show in their place in a while. I’d like to point out that the crowd is absolutely dead. I mean not a single noise was made when she came out to the ring. She puts Rusev in his place, because why not. I really can get behind a guy that gets told what for from Stephanie. However, Rusev did not back down, which was nice…finally Roman comes down cracking jokes…for some reason Rusev and Lana mating will make ugly babies? Why? Is Lana ugly now…or is Rusev? I mean I am married, and I’ve used this line before, but Rusev is a good looking dude. Roman gets to the ring, finally, and says he is is ready to fight tonight. This is cut off by Mick who just said we need the match for the PPV…but let’s just have the match without the belt on the line…A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME!!!!
Overall: Not good. I liked it at first, but, because it HAD to be 15 to 20 minutes they stalled, they wasted time, Rusev did the same rant three times. Roman…comes down to the ring, like Rusev had requested in the first place but only after Mick came down and stalled, Stephanie pulled a half heelish face promo and then said we shouldn’t have a match that would be on the PPV but we will, just because why not. STOP GIVING AWAY MATCHES THAT WILL BE ON PPV ON THE SHOW! STOP! I really soured on this opening. However, I do have whiskey!
So to follow up the long promo…let’s have a promo with Sheamus! Sheamus says he is moving on from Cesaro, I doubt that, and he is moving on to Sami Zayn, holy shit, I forgot he was on RAW. Sheamus, sort of puts himself down, he says to the crowd “Well you paid money to see me so who’s stupid?”…LMAO! It was good but wow Sheamus, WOW!
Match 1: Sami Zayn vs. Sheamus
Overview: Sami doesn’t get too long in the ring before Sheamus bulls him over as we get a break apart and then the official start of the match. Chops laid in early by Zayn. Sheamus gets the heat back with a little ground and pound and tries to toss Zayn out of the ring. This did last long because Zayn hits the head scissors and then faked a dive but he is then caught and sent into the ring post as we…HEAD TO BREAK!!!! We come back with some back and forth between Zayn and Sheamus. Sheamus with the power, sending Zayn to the ground for a 2. Zayn gets Sheamus to the outside and goes for the dive but Sheamus gets ahold of Zayn’s foot and trips him up. Ten count of forearms by Sheamus but Zayn fights back and finally hits his dive onto Sheamus. Zayn and Sheamus get back into the ring with Sheamus hitting the Celtic Cross for a 2 count. Sheamus stares off into space for an awkward amount of time and Zayn gets up and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for a long 2. Sheamus get the Irish Curse on Zayn and sets up for the finish but Cesaro goes down to the ring, and like a fucking stupid, well person, he is distracted and hit with the Helluva Kick allowing Zayn to get the 1…2…3!
Your Winner: Sami Zayn via bullshit
Overall: Such an old trope. Why would I stop to look out at a guy when I am trying to finish the match. Kick the guy’s head off and then address the guy on the floor. You can’t knock him dick stiff when he tries to get into the ring? Anyways. Good match, if not a bit slow at point. Story of the match was Zayn finally hitting his dive. Don’t give me this match with that ending is all I’m asking. I liked Zayn winning but I think Sheamus needed to go into the PPV with a win…So either at Summerslam Cesaro loses to a guy on a three match losing streak, or Sheamus loses for the fourth time which is a great way to make him look fantastic heading forward. I just thought them heading into Summerslam was already flat. Now I believe this feud, which the face has already won two matches in a row, is going to head into a multiple PPV feud. I am not looking forward to that.
Kevin Owens and Jericho are backstage being interviewed, it was enjoyable but nothing new to report on. We come back to Sheamus and Cesaro going after one another. Mick tells them if they wanted to fight then they will have a best of seven series starting at Summerslam…Uh, excuse me? Cesaro beating Sheamus twice leads to them being even starting into this series? Bullshit.
The New Day vs. The Dudley Boyz
Overview: Before we start Anderson and Gallows interrupt and go through the Ringpostitis…they do the same jokes, fuck this. Stop it RAW! Stop making things that are sort of funny…not funny by SHOVING IT DOWN OUT THROATS! STOP! Anyways, that was pointless, and we finally get to the match. Dudley’s take over early with Bubba on the outside talking crap to The New Day. Kofi gets the hot tag off of Devon missing a clothesline and then reloading and clotheslining Bubba, which looked stupid and on purpose. Kofi gets in and get the pin.
Your Winners: The New Day
Overall: So the Dudley Boyz lose in like 2 minutes so that we can cut back to the stupid, not funny stuff from Gallows and Anderson. This matches sucked and was pointless. Then The New Day cut a serious promo on Gallows and Anderson which makes me feel like I am in Bizarro World. I am rooting for the ring post on Sunday. Oh, and, in the end, Kofi and Xavier dance around negating the seriousness of Kofi’s part in the promo.
Seth Rollin is in the back looking for the Demon KANE? No Demon King. Neville tells Seth that he has been in the ring with the Demon King and Seth isn’t ready for him.
Nia Jax vs a Jobber
Overall: Need to use the squashes for other PEOPLE. Have New Day beat a Jobber Team instead of the Dudley’s. We don’t need the same FUCKING formula every FUCKING show! It is boring and getting old. We are not even into a month of this shit. STOP IT! STOP DOING THIS STOP BORING ME AND STOP MAKING ME HATE THE SQUASH MATCH WHICH I HAPPEN TO LIKE.
Brock Lesnar Promo: Brock smirking and enjoying the crowd cheering and chanting “Suplex City” was a nice start. Paul is immediately cut off by Heath Slater. Heath tells Paul that he is the hottest free agent and that he is coming to Paul to inquire about using his services. Paul laughs at him. Heath changes his tune and says that he is being offered a contract to RAW if he beats Brock Lesnar tonight. He asks Paul if he can face Brock tonight. Paul tells him to hit the bricks and starts cutting his promo but Heath screams into the mic and telling Paul to pay attention to him. Paul tells him he is trying to save his ass, and Heath tells him there is no saving his ass because he has kids to feed. Brock grabs the mic and tells him that he respects his guts. He says he respects doing what he has to do for his kids. He tells him to get in the ring and tells him “ I don’t give a shit about your kids” he tells him leave or keep standing there and pissing him off. Heath stands his ground for a moment and tries to charge after him. Brock clotheslines him and starts German suplexing him around the ring. He gets him up and hits the F-5. Paul gets back into the ring with Heath’s glasses on. He then proceeds to talk about Brock vs. Randy at Summerslam.
Overall: I was fixing to hate this promo. I was fixing to talk about how this is just the same old shit. However, I came out of this loving every moment of it and it had everything to do with…Heath Slater coming out and changing the whole formula up. Heath didn’t look like a punk. He didn’t back down and in the end He looked good and Brock continued to look like a monster. Paul did get to cut his promo and we got to the point and got the match at Summerslam over. This really brought me out of my funk I have been in with this show tonight. I really, really enjoyed this. Sidenote: My wife, who doesn’t enjoy wrestling, looked up and mentioned that she really like that guy on the apron (Heath Slater).
Big Cass vs. Kevin Owens
Overview: We open with Kevin attacking Cass’ leg. Cass hits the big shoulder block and takes over the match sending Kevin to the outside. Kevin, being a smart heel, waits to get back into the ring and then coaxing Cass to lean over the rope and necking him. Within a minute we head to a break. So, tired of every match that is going to be more than two minutes going to break immediately. We come back to Cass and Owens fighting to get up. Clothesline into the corner by Owens but when he went for the Cannonball follow up, Cass kicked him in the head. Splashes by Cass and he tries to kick Owens off the apron but Kevin low-bridges him sending him to the outside. Owens goes for the powerbomb onto the ring apron but he is back body dropped on the floor. Jericho sneaks around the ring and finally starts laying the boats to Cass. Owens and Jericho send Cass into the barricade and mock him. They send him back into the ring allowing Cass to fight them both off. However, the onslaught is too much and Jericho hits the Codebreaker.
Your Winner: Cass via DQ
Overall: Storyline match. It was fine, and it was actually what you need to have if the opponents are going to face on PPV. Jericho is a smart heel and he is very good at getting the crowd to hate him. The DQ in this match wasn’t so painful because the match was kept short. I would have been pissed if they went like 15 minutes and then this DQ happened. Owens was trying to take it to the outside and he was unable to keep the advantage causing Jericho to step in and end the match. I was fine with that. Job done.
Primetime Players vs. The Shining Stars
Overview: What? Primetime Players back together, because tonight before the 3 hour RAW we should have been watching because they came back together during the pre-show, Wonder if they make it through this show? My tag team dissension meter says…maybe! We open with The Shining Stars taking over early, wow great coming together of the Primetime Players. Titus gets the advantage back and splashes one of the Stars in the corner. Darren continues to beat up Star 1. Tag team dissension happens with Darren running into Titus and he is Sky High’d for his transgressions. The Shining Stars, who were an afterthought in this match ironically enough, get the win.
Your Winners: The Shining Stars
Overall: Storyline match. Darren and Titus get back together so they can have a tiff and then breakup…yeah that was honestly the only reason for this match to happen. I will give it to them though at least is was something refreshing for a change. However, match was basic and boring.
Jinder Mahal vs. Neville
Overview: Let’s see if Mahal is just back to be a jobber? I mean I now he is going to lose but let’s see, HOW he loses, shall we? Quick start with Mahal trying to kick at Neville. Neville with the Magistral Cradle for a 2. They go to the outside as Neville continues to fly and flip his way around Mahal. Mahal gets his heat back and tries to take the boots to the grounded Neville. Basement dropkick by Mahal for a 2. Neville is sent into the corner and does a flip over Mahal, who was following, Neville charges at Mahal but is sent over the top. On the apron Neville kicks him in the head and hits the Red Arrow for the 1…2…3!
Your Winner: Neville
Overall: Good match between the two. You knew the outcome, but the match’s story was well done. Neville looked good and Mahal didn’t look like a nerd. Neville looks fantastic and his ring work has continued to be great and getting better. Mahal has been solid in the ring and I don’t feel any different after tonight’s showing.
Seth Rollins promo: We get a too long set up in the back with Mick and Stephanie and Seth talking. Mick tells Seth he should call Finn out, GASP! In the ring. He radios to the audio guy to hit Seth’s music, so he can come down to the ring during the commercial. We come back from break and Seth tells the crowd he can’t find the Demon King, Oh, god STOP! Rollins says there is nothing or anyone that can stop him from becoming the Universal Champion. He says he is on another level. He tells the Demon King, STOP!, to come on down…He says Demon King twice more< STOOOOPPPP! He waits and cackles. He drops a little truth on them, He, finally says Finn Balor, making his saying the Demon King over and over make sense. He says he is just trying to get into his head. He says Demon King, make up your mind, also, this means he wasn’t being cute he is just going to continue to say it! Wait he calls him FInn Balor again. Someone runs into the ring and Seth asks if that was the Demon King? And then says Demon King a bunch of times more…The lights start to flicker and a chant is heard. Finally Finn Balor’s music hits and we get a creepy introduction to Finn Balor as the Demon on RAW.
Overall: I liked this little segment. While I have to say I liked them showing Finn in his getup as the Demon…I would have waited for Summerslam…also, I would have changed him up a little bit. Nitpicking aside I liked this whole build up between the two of them. I loved that the crowd knew what to do and it wasn’t just a niche part of the crowd playing along. On the changing it up part, I liked the writing on his body. Overall? Excited to see them guys go at it, so very well done! Also, Seth sold it well and went from being cocky to having to put his gameface on. He wasn’t scared and he went for the attack first. Gave us just enough to want to see more, even when I wish we saw less.
The Golden Truth vs. The Club
Overview: The Club come out with the eggs in a jar…STOP! Anderson and Truth start off with Truth being taken into the corner quick for the tag. Gallows destroys Truth’s face with a big boot. Work in the corner by Gallows. Gallows goes to the ropes and is kicked in the face allowing Truth to get Goldust into the ring. Goldust cleans house…ok? Goldust getting a nearfall on Anderson. Gallows and Anderson get back on the offense hitting the Magic Killer for the 1…2…3! After the match The New Day come in and attack Gallows and Anderson from behind. Big Knee to the face onto Anderson by Kofi. Kofi grabs Anderson’s legs and Xavier tried to hit him the the balls with the Trumpet but Gallows pulls him out of the way, and out of the chance of testicular destruction.
Your Winners: The Club
Overall: This was fine. The New Day going after The Club and getting the advantage was needed heading into Summerslam. Not much to say. Show is getting long and I am losing interest.
Charlotte breaks up with Dana backstage, for no reason. She slapped her remember? I know, I know she a heel and she is justifying her actions but this just wasn’t necessary and it is just too soon.
Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox
Overview: Charlotte takes Fox into the corner and Wooo’s into her face. Alicia Fox hits the, I’m going to throw my whole body at you and land on your face, and Charlotte begs her off. Alicia, like a stupid face, goes to the top rope and is pulled off. Charlotte hits the Natural Selection for the 1…2…3!
Your Winner: Charlotte
Overall: Nothing to say. Charlotte won a glorified squash match and it got over the point. Sasha coming down to the ring afterwards was the meat and potatoes of this segment. Dana clipping Sasha makes the last segment make no sense and here is why. We are always led to believe that, during backstage segments, the camera is not there. Heel hatch up plans in front of the camera, shenanigans happen during these segments that people wouldn’t allow someone to film…so why did Dana and Charlotte breakup backstage for Charlotte and Dana to get back together in the ring? Did Sasha watch this segment and figure Charlotte was on her own? Is the story that Charlotte is just welcoming Dana’s interference? That would make a little bit of sense, but overall I just felt like RAW wanted me to buy into the segment before being seen by everyone and Charlotte knew Sasha would see it and then that would make her come out to the ring…I dunno I just didn’t like that. Ending with Charlotte holding Sasha in the Figure Four and not letting go was a nice touch.
Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the United States….nah Lana’s honor. If Roman wins he will honor the honor of honoring Lana’s honor through battling to defend the honor of Lana in which Rusev is also honoring.
Overview: Quick start to a match that seems to be going to last a long ass time. Roman and Rusev share the brawl, with Rusev being sent outside of the ring and Roman hits the dropkick.
The match,which had both combatants in the ring, hasn’t started yet. The brawl on the outside is so thrilling we just have to cut to break! We come back to both fight to get the upperhand. Rusev keeps working over Roman’s arm. Rusev tries to use the belt on Roman but is stopped by the ref. ROman tries to make a comeback but, again, Rusev sends Roman arm first into the barricade as we head to another stupid break. We come back and Rusev works over Reigns for about 10 minutes. Roman keeps kicking out of everything. This pisses Lana and Rusev off. Reigns finally hits the Superman punch but Rusev kicks out. Rusev gets the advantage back and gets the Accolade onto Roman, but Hulk Roman fights across the ring and gets the break. Also, this match is really good but I am going to shit all over it once it is over just fair warning. Rusev goes for the big boot and Roman gets out of the way.
Rusev gets back into the ring and gets killed by John Reigns who fights through it all, overcomes all the odds, and beats Rusev with the spear.
Your Winner and the defending honoree of honoring Lana’s honor: Roman Reigns
Overall: Great, great match between the two. I really enjoyed this match…HOWEVER, WHY, WHY, WHY, DID YOU GIVE THIS MATCH TO US, WITHOUT A DUSTY FINISH AND A FINISH WITH THE FACE WINNING WHEN THIS IS A MATCH THAT IS GOING TO BE ON SUMMERSLAM IN 6 DAYS? Match was good and I am glad I saw it but this is a match I would have walked away from Summerslam being super excited I saw, but now I just don’t care.
Show Overall: Why, does WWE continue to give us the matches we are going to see at a PPV? On the RAW side let’s see who has wrestled one another heading into their Summerslam programs in the last month. Titus and Darren? Yep. Owen and Jericho vs. Cass and Enzo? Yep, however, they get a pass sort of for mixing it up. Gallows and Anderson vs The New Day? Yep, with the faces winning. Seth and Balor? Nope, good on them. Brock and Randy? Nope. Sheamus and Cesaro? Yep! Face has won twice. Roman and Rusev? YEP! And they just had an amazing 30 plus minute match on RAW! Stop with this shit. Be creative, set up matches without them having to work one another. I need fresh matches and I was going to get a couple of them but in the past month I have seen them now. I really wanted to see Roman and Rusev and now I have and I will watch them on Sunday but I won’t have the same reaction that I had tonight. If it isn’t blatantly obvious I really disliked this show. Now, saying that, I didn’t think this show was bad it just annoyed me over and over again and didn’t allow me to sit back and enjoy what I was watching. Things were long just to be long again tonight, and the matches that I looked forward to have all been done barring a couple, as stated previously. I hope for my sanity that Smackdown doesn’t pull the same crap and keeps a lot of their opponents in Summerslam matches away from each other tomorrow night. Also, I liked squash matches. They need to vary them out. Nia Jax needs one from time to time but you can spend time, for more than a week, telling the story and getting her over in other ways. Instead they just have Nia and Braun share the squash, with the off-week being a vignette putting over there monster-like features. Share the jobbers guys. Stop only booking one show and cookie cutting in the talent. STOP! So with that, the word of the night is STOP! So….
Until Next Time,
Monty the Yank