Are you ready for the best damn thing that is happening in the wrestling industry? I am! Now I must admit I think the Matt Hardy thing is a bit ridiculous and a little bit over the top, however, I can’t say I don’t think it is highly entertaining. I love Decay and I love the Hardy Brothers so I should love this tonight…right? Let’s find out.
We open with Senor Benjamin as he lets us all know that these guys are highly trained professionals. Then we get a recap of how we come to all this. How the battlefield was needed, once again, for massacre! We also get an opera singer singing the obsolete song! As well As amazing Matt Hardy!
To the ring as we get Michael Bennett and Maria heading down from the ramp. Bennett is pissed about what happened to him last week and he talks about Moose biting the hand that fed him. He says Moose let his ego get the best of him. He says as fast as he brought him into TNA he is sending him out. Bennett says he fired Moose with a strongly worded text message. He says he can now refocus on the heavyweight title. Apparently this brings out the FORMER owner of iMPACT Wrestling. She says blah, blah, blah no authority, blah, blah, blah as the Miracle Turns, blah, blah, blah. Dixie tell Bennett she has done something that is good for this company, yeah, like stepping down!, saying he will face Moose at Bound for Glory. Moose arrives and heads into the ring. It is at this time I realized that Bennett is wearing bright yellow sneakers and what would appear to be a pair of women’s tights. Moose tries to get his hands on Bennett but Maria distracts Moose, and they both bail out.
Match 1: Gail Kim and Jade vs. Sienna and Allie
Highlights: WEEOOOOWEEEOOOWEEEOOOO Allie gets chastized by Sienna allowing Gail to get the advantage. Allie gets in and immediately tries to bail on Gail. Gail dropkicks the leg as she exits and she is sent to the floor. Sienna, being louder that Allie tonight, hit Gail hard and gets the 2 count. Sienna pushes Allie off of Gail as she is trying to help put the boots to her. Sienna “SIIIIKES” Allie out of a tag, weak, very weak. Sienna with the fall-away slam but laxes on the cover and only gets a 2. Gail with a terrible looking spinning neckbreaker. Jade gets the hot tag and hits multiple kicks to Sienna chest and face. Pedigree attempt by Jade but Allie gets the blind tag. Allie misses the double axe handle from Bret’s rope and hits Sienna. Sienna railroads Allie and Jade reluctantly gets the 3.
Your Winners: Jade and Gail Kim
Overall: Storyline match. Sienna worked over Gail, and kept avoiding the tag to Allie. Allie is turning face and this match was the way to get her there. The faces, at the end, helped Allie to her feet and didn’t cheer or gloat about their victory. Sienna is a little slow in the ring and her and Gail still don’t mesh very well. Oddly enough Jade got in all the offense on Sienna and didn’t eat any moves from Sienna. Overall…MEH?
At the Hardy compound we see Matt’s plan for training come to fruition. They will face animals that have been possessed by greats from the past. We get to see George Washington the Giraffe. Joe Frazier the kangaroo. Also, we get to meet all of the spot monkeys such as Mandrews and Bucks of the Youth. In Tiger form we get to meet Genghis Khan who says the enemy is coming.
Match 2: Joe Fraizer, in kangaroo form vs. Jeff Hardy
Highlights: Squash Match
Your Winner: Joe Frazier
Overall: A masterpiece in wrestling!
Billy Corgan changed wrestling forever by getting rid of the King of the Mountain Championship and introducing…the Grand Championship. WOOOOOW! Anyways, this brings out heel Drew Galloway. Galloway tells Billy that he should be the first champion. However, this causes Billy to flash to a pre-tape telling us all about it. The matches for this belt with be done with European-ish style wrestling(MMA style). 3, 3-minute rounds, 10 point must, with the match being stopped if there is a pinfall or submission. Galloway tells Billy that he is the best in the company but he is cut off by Aron Rex. Billy stops them and tells them that they have their own business but this is about this belt so they will face off against each other in an opening round match and it starts next. I like the different style of match. I like Billy trying to introduce a more European style of wrestling involving rounds, I guess more accurately adding in a MMA feel for this belt. I am fine with that because it is something different. I will withhold my judgement until this style gets a chance to breathe.
Match 3: Drew Galloway vs. Braxton Sutter
Highlights: My mistake I thought Galloways and Rex would be facing. Galloway just manhandles Sutter sending him all around the ring with a variety of suplexes. Chops by Sutter but it isn’t enough and Galloway keep the advantage. Drew with the ten-chops in the corner. Crisp, snap suplex by Galloway and a ground and pound ending round 1. Round 1 goes to Galloway. Drew keeps the attack as we head into round 2. Big head stomp onto Sutter. Galloway goes to suplex Sutter to the outside but is dropped neck first onto the ropes. Sutter with the super-plex for a long 2. Sutter with the ground and pound and a nice powerslam for another long 2. Round 2 ends with Sutter taking it to Galloway. Sutter wins round 2 with a split decision. Sutter immediate takes out Drew and almost garners a 3 count. Sutter is sent into the turnbuckle but stops turns around and is hit with a sudden piledriver. Iron Maiden by Drew Galloway causing Sutter to tap out!
Your Winner: Drew Galloway via submission
Overall: Match was pretty good. It felt different and I liked that. However, I didn’t like the constant ground and pound. Firstly, don’t try to just be different for difference’s sake. Secondly, why didn’t Sutter go for a submission when he had Galloway’s back? I would have liked it look more like a wrestling match is spots and not seeing them just throwing punches and mounting up on the ground. Overall though I liked the feel. I liked the rounds and this is going to allow them to think outside of the box. iMPACT trying something new and it not being ridiculous is a nice thing to see.
We get a horror movie segment with Decay as they stop a driver in North Carolina. He hits on Rosemary but the others suddenly appear and they leave the driver for dead as they head to the Hardy’s compound.
We get the press conference between EC3 and Bobby Lashley. Billy introduces both EC3 and Bobby Lashley. EC3 talks up Lashley, makes fun of his sunglasses, and says he sees a bully, and intimidator, and a coward. He says he has done some dick moves. EC3 says at Bound for Glory this dance ends because he is coming to fight. Lashley says he doesn’t dance. He says his company is under fire. Lashley says that iMPACT is fighting other companies, other sports, and little MMA fighters. Lashley says the backstage is weak and that he needs to be the champ to provide credibility. He challenges EC3 if he would be able to defend this company. EC3 says he is the guy you call to kick the ass of the most dominant champion. Lashley calls EC3 a bodybuilder and says he is the fighter. He continues with his speech saying, they applauded them, referencing the guys he has beat, as they applaud EC3. Lashley tells them to keep hyping these guys up and see what happens. Lashley says EC3 will get the biggest asswhooping he has ever received. EC3 and Lashley face off for a picture, but EC3 flips him off. Both take off at each other and then end up in the empty stands. The fight continues but ultimately Lashley leaves EC3 in a pile outside of the iMPACT Zone. Lashley throws EC3 down the handicap accessible ramp leaving him in a heap. I really loved this. Lashley, when he is allowed to just be a dick, comes off so well. I think the thing is that when it feel unscripted we don’t really get on people for messing up a little. Lashley will always be raw with his promo skills, but he comes off very natural in his current role. This gives us a big fight feel and it is much more natural than setting up a table in the ring to sign a contract. It is apparent that iMPACT wants to be viewed as more of a sport, so giving us a sports like feel, and sports like press conferences help get that point over.
Match 4: Jessie Godderz vs. ELI Drake First Round of the Grand Championship Tournament
Highlights: Dummy, YEAH! Early ground work by both men looking for submissions/wear down moves. Jessie works the arm switching between holds trying to keep Eli grounded. Jessie changes it up and gets Eli into a chinlock. Headscissor escape by Eli. Nice forearm by Jessie. Gator roll by Jessie. Fisherman hook by Jessie for the 2. Round 1 goes to Godderz. Pure amateur style between the both starting round 2. Eli with the aggression. Floatover DDT by Eli for the 2. Jessie gets the backpack sleeper but is thrown off and hit with the front powerslam by Eli. Eli taunts, and this allows Jessie to get the springboard forearm. Jessie with the t-bone suplex. Jessie goes for the Adonis lock and gets it but the round ends before Eli can tap. Round 2 goes to Jessie. Final round starts with Jessie getting the schoolboy. Multiple pin attempts by Jessie. Huge single-arm powerbomb by Eli for the 2. Adonis lock is locked in again but Eli gets the ropes. Big high-angles belly-to-back suplex. Eli sends Jessie neck first into the middle rope. Eli with the Blunt-Force Trauma for the 3 count with 45 seconds remaining.
Your Winner: Eli Drake
Overall: Now I liked the flow of this match much more than the first. Jessie kept taking it to Eli. They told a story throughout all the rounds. Jessie and Eli worked an amateur style to start. They took it slow. By the middle of round 2 they were looking for more aggressive moves and pin falls and ultimately Jessie made the mistake and kept trying the keep the pressure on and not keeping his distance and winning by decision. I liked the story they told and ultimately they took the fans for a ride, and the crowd gladly went on said ride.
Aron Rex cuts a promo backstage on Drew. HE says often times he thinks and says what he is going to do but he tells Drew this time he’s not thinking!
Match 5: Deletion or Decay match Decay vs. The Broken Hardys
Highlights: Well firstly, Senor Benjamin is a pure highlight. Matt starts it off by saying, “Decay….I knew you’d come!” We pull out the big guys right away. As Nero, the Broken One, and his queen fire Roman candles at Decay. Matt sends his queen back to the compound as they continue to attack Decay with the fireworks. Abyss blocks them with Scarsguard but the boat is dropkicked sending Abyss into the water. Matt is lost in the woods looking for Rosemary. Senor Benjamin is met by Joe Park. Park is looking for Abyss. Benjamin stun guns him and gets him into the bobcat to go bury him! Jeff and Steve are fighting next to the pool. Jeff front suplexes Steve into the pool as they continue to fight underwater. Matt is still searching for Rosemary as Senor Benjamin completely buries, not in the wrestling sense, Abyss in the grave. Jeff wins his fight with Steve, or so we thought. Steve comes out of the pool Jason style, and pulls Jeff back in as we cut back to Benjamin noticing that Abyss grave is back open. Abyss attacks Benjamin as we cut back to Steve attacking Jeff and resurrecting his paintjob. Janis makes her return as it misses Matt’s head and lodges into a tree. Abyss tries to attack Matt with Janis but Jeff pushes him out of the way and Abyss…murders Jeff. Matt is down 2 on one but Vanguard one appears and starts firing at Decay. He ignites the battleground surrounding Abyss and Steve in the Hardy’s symbol. we cut to the compound as Rosemary and Vanguard one have a standoff with Maxel in tow. Rosemary takes out Vanguard one with the mist but Matt gets his revenge with mist of his own. Maxel and his family are reunited. In the end, Decay leaves with their prize, Senor Benjamin, Jeff is left hurting from his disembowelment, and we are left wondering what happens next.
Your Winners: The Fans
Overall: Holy hell what did I just watch. It sure as hell wasn’t a wrestling match. This was pure entertainment. I really did like what I saw. However, I want to get the negative out of the way. How in the hell can these two teams just have a match after having this…event tonight? How can I believe they will face off at Bound for Glory when I just saw a horror movie take place on iMPACT television? We got the money shot, now they want me to see the foreplay. Back to everything else. This event, spectacle, or whatever you want to call it was so damn entertaining I was left wondering if I would just rather see television dramas produced by the Hardys. Was it as good as the original? No, I don’t think so. Do I think they need to shelf this for a while? Yes, yes I do. Did I still love what I saw, very much yes. Was anyone deleted? No, well maybe Jeff!
Show Overall: Very solid episode tonight. The matches were good, the stories got us going towards the PPV and the overall 2 hours flew by. The women division match got us going towards potential matches with Allie having to go against Sienna, and Gail and Jade are going to have to compete to see who gets Maria. Moose and Bennett will be a nice grudge match, with both being very good in the ring, and Bennett will carry the story in his interviews. The Grand Championship is bringing a new feel to the show allowing for some fresh air in the matches we are seeing on the show. Finally, the Hardy’s and Decay should be very entertain at Bound for Glory. iMPACT has again shown that you can do more with less, and the refocus on treating their show as a sport, while allowing for the wackiness to happen outside the walls of the iMPACT zone, is a needed step for them to separate themselves from WWE. The Hardys stuff is almost like an acid trip given to us throughout the realism that is the rest of the show. Some might think that it is a clash of styles, but I truly think it fits right in and isn’t jarring based on how it is presented. It is a telenovela being presented during the show. Overall I really dug this week’s episode and I can’t wait to talk about it again! So…
Until Next Time,
Monty the Yank